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Okay, I’m just going to disclose that I’m writing this to purely rant and vent. I really don’t have a person I can just talk to and vent this too, other than my mom, but I’d just feel like I’m preaching to the choir. I do have Marissa, Nora, Michelle and them, who I’m sure wouldn’t mind having me vent to, but I would feel bad to just dump this all on them, so what do I do? I turn to my rarely used blog, for reasons I don’t even fully understand.

So with inflation, and the economy, everyone is struggling to make ends meet, don’t take that as I think I’m the only one struggling, but when it happens to you, it’s just so more real, no matter how selfish that is.

My family (my mom and me) gets insurance through my mom’s work. We have gotten 1,150 dollars since I was in fourth grade to use for everything, doctor appointments, physical therapy, lab tests, x-rays, medicine, ER visits, you know, everything medical affiliated it. At first that was enough, but with inflation the last 2 years we have been coming dead even with it. If we go over then we pay the rest out of pocket until we get to 5,000 dollars.

Now we have come to our max this year, so we are putting off my sinus problems until next year, when our balance refreshes. Now this week we got a notice, saying that our insurance is being cut to 750 dollars. That’s about 2/3. That is 4 doctor appointments worth, for 2 people. If we went to the ER we would have to pay 50 dollars out of pocket, not including X-rays, or any other tests.

With my sinuses we need to get a CAT scan before we can now how to proceed with treatments, if it be medication or surgery. We haven’t been able to find out how much that will cost, but if our insurance can’t cover 1 visit to the ER, how is it going to cover a CAT scan AND treatment?

I have been having sinus head aches regularly since fifth grade, from October until April, each year. I have been on countless medications, been to 2 special lists, and about 4 family practitioners. I just finished with 14 days of Antibiotics, the 2nd time I’ve been on antibiotics since October. The doctors don’t even know they work, since we can’t afford a CAT scan to see if they do. So far they work while I’m taking them, but once they run out, I start up with problems again.

We’ll get through this. We’ve decided we’re doing whatever is needed to get my sinuses to full health, or at least so I don’t have a constant head ache for 7 months of the year. But it will come at a cost, which is something I don’t think is right. A 16 year old should not be worried about medical bills, or is this just a world we have come to live in? Just GAH! I guess I should be grateful that it’s just sinuses, not cancer, or something that can’t be put off, but it’s hard to when you’re getting constant sinus infections.

Okay rant over. Sorry to put that all on your shoulders, after leaving you for so long.

-The road to success is always under construction.

p.s. I’m not meaning for this to be a political thing, I’m just sick of being…. well sick.

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I got asked if this blog is dead, or what. It’s not dead, I thought I made it clear I’ll blog when I feel like it and when I have time. I’ve gone longer times with not blogging when I was doing it more regularly.

I have been wanting to blog for about the last week, but I’ve been quite busy and just haven’t gotten around to it since it isn’t on the top of my prioritys.

Last year, I was on the computer or watching tv 4 hours minimum, so I had time too do stuff like blog, be on facebook for hours, talk on msn constantly, and all that jazz. This year I have practice, which I had last year but it lasts longer this year and we useally go to the store after or out to eat. Then I have homework, which I really didn’t have last year. Anywhere from 10 minutes to 3 hours, and there really is no average, it varies alot. Then 2 to 3 times a week I have pep band which is 6:15 until 9, which is when I go to bed. How does that make my schedule look?

3:00 school gets out
3:10 practice
5:30 get home, eat, check emails, get homework organized
6:00 leave for pep band, do homework there, possible eat there
9:00 get home, sleep.

and when there is no pep and the 6-9 gap is filled with homework, catching up on youtube, blogs, and sometimes watching Glee. Now you don’t even want to see my Wednesday schedule when I need to make a video! Sometimes I even just forget 😉

Now I’m not saying I’m the only one who is busy in the world, I’m just saying that I’m busy and it’s not something I’m used to, you know?

Now I would like to just do a mini rant, freestyle type, kinda thing. Friday I found out my dad is in the hospital. He has been for the last month. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m not close with my dad. I haven’t seen him since my 11th birthday. I am however close with my half sister, who keeps me updated on that side of the family. Now he is in the hospital every year to every other year, but it’s useally just for a week. That’s what this was supposed to be, he got surgery and was supposed to be in the hospital for 5 days. Well now it’s been a month and he is depressed and anry. This puts me between a rock and a hard place. I mean I don’t like him, but I love him at the same time. I want to reach out to him since chances are he won’t last much longer, and I don’t want to have to remember him like this. The last time I reached out to him it ended up being an emotional renching experiance. Now that I’m older, it could be different. But I am still scared of him. He is an alchoholic and gets angry easily. I wouldn’t feel safe with him and me. I don’t know, I really am just kind of ranting here. /rant over

Okay. Well what a depressing post after going so long without one. I’m sorry about that.

The road to success is always under construction

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