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I’m the kind of person who prefers email, letters, texting, that kind of stuff. I’m a very easy crier. Half the times I will be saying through sobs, “I’m not that upset that I should be crying, but I just can’t control it.” Plus whenever I try to talk for a good period after crying, I start crying again. This is not a good trait to have. I have started to cry when I was talking to a teacher who scares me. It also doesn’t help that other people just don’t understand that I would prefer to not cry. When you start crying people try and comfort you, or get mad at you for being a baby or too emotional. When you aren’t all that upset, and your crying over something small, then when you talk just because you where crying before you start crying, even though you don’t need to be comforted, people feel the need to do it.

I just can’t hold back my emotions very well, and crying is my outlet, when I’m mad or sad.

I think I’m going to stop on question and commenter of the day. It’s just not what I want to be doing now.

Right now I’m just writing when I have something to write about, and if you want to write about something you don’t want to have to stick it a format. Before I was writing to write, and now I’m writing to express.

-The road to success is always under construction.


If you don’t like the rant whiney depressing blog posts ignore this one.

Today we got our results for Musical. Everyone who tries out gets a part. I worked vigorously on my audition. I went beyond memorizing and practiced, practiced, practiced. I spent over 6 hours on preparing my auditions. I know it was more than that, but I don’t want to over estimate myself. That isn’t including the time I spent searching for my audition materials which was probably another 4 hours. I was pretty confident seeing how much work I put into my audition and how a lot of the people in the cast had not gone out before. I have been anxiously awaiting getting the cast list. When I finally got it I couldn’t open it since the director sent it on word which I don’t have on my computer. I forwarded it to my mom on her computer and she copy and pasted it and re-sent it to me. Where was my name? At the bottom, in the ensemble. Several younger less experienced people got multiple roles, and what did I get? Ensemble. If you aren’t familiar with theater the ensemble is the chorus, and consists of a large majority of the cast, only excluding the main characters in most cases. The only other people just in ensemble it is there first year, and are only going out because friends are going out or are goof offs. This doesn’t make sense to me. How come others are getting multiple rolls and I don’t have 1? Would a softball coach have someone sit on the bench and have 1 player play 1st base and left field? Not to mention this isn’t competitive. I would understand a little more if it was competitive, but it’s not, it’s for fun. How is that fair? Yes I know, life isn’t fair, but this is a high school musical.

I’m 16, and in 10th grade. I could get a job, but I choose musical over it. I’m seriously considering quitting because why should I pay 100 dollars for being just another face in the crowd? I could spend that time earning money or on homework and studying.

No question or reader of the day today. I’m hoping you won’t see the need for punishment seeing this is more of a rant then a blog, and it was just to get my feelings out.

-The road to success is under HEAVY construction. Don’t forget that it is raining during this construction.


Shocker, I know! Second blog post today! But there are things I feel like blogging about, cuz if I feel like blogging, i’ve learned I just should.

I was talking to my mom, like I do everynight before she goes to bed, and she said somthing I wanted the world to not hear. “I’m going to call the animal shelter tomarrow.” Under any other circumstance, this would be wonderful. It should mean joy, we’re getting a new addition to the family. But no, this time it isn’t a good reason to be calling. She is calling to ask if they will take our cat, Grissom. I said “Okay, good night” and left. While I got up and left she asks “are you okay?” and I reply, “No, but it doesn’t really matter.” She then tells me to come back and talk to her, which I do. She gives me the talk you give a five year old. “You know why we need to do this, right?,” “Yes, I’m not five anymore mom, i’m not stupid, but anyway you know I’m not going to just accept it, Good night.” I then got up and left, but when I open the door the cat runs in the room and under her bed, i chase him out and leave. Once I’m out I start balling. I knew this was coming, but this is the first time I’ve shed tears over it. As I’ve stated before, my mom is a big procrastinator. I was hoping this was somthing she would procrastinate over until it doesn’t happen. Why can’t it be? He has only peed in one room, which he hasn’t been in since. He hasn’t peed in any other area of the house since he has been locked out of that room, which has been for over 3 week. The room is now useable, and has no hint of pee. I understand the cat could probly still smell it, but it would be fine as long as he never was allowed in that room again. Wouldn’t it be? I’ve only been this attached to a pet one other time in my life, and that was my poodle Cashmere[RIP 12/1/06]. The thing is it’s not only that we are getting rid of Grissom that is a hardship, it’s knowing we will never have a dog or cat in this house again since they might smell the pee.

On another note, since useally blogging brings me joy, and this has just made me cry more and more. I got a new banner. I went through old pictures to put in it to kind of show how i’ve changed in the last 2-3 years. I just thought I might post this picture since it didn’t make it in the new banner:

This is me in the musical CATS! Fall 2008

This is me in the musical CATS! Fall 2008

I thought that this blog needed a picture of me from my acting experiance, how about two pictures?

Me in one of my roles in Flowers for Algernon

Me in one of my roles in Flowers for Algernon

 That is a picture of me playing Mrs Nemur, my smaller role out of my two. The guy appearing closest in the picture to my left was Mr. Nemur, I wouldnt being married to that boy (the actual boy, not Mr. Nemur).


Okay, This has been a big day for my blog, a total of almost 2,000 words between the two blogs!!!

The path to success in underconstruction!



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